I Painted Myself into a Corner

I Painted Myself into a Corner by M.L. Gardner

Oh, don’t I just love it when I do that. If anything, painting myself into a corner gives me time to stop and think, which I don’t always do. I tend to throw myself into something yelling, “Charge!” and with eyes only on my goal, rarely see anything else. Anyone else could have seen this coming a mile away.

As most of you know I’ve used the HCG protocol to lose weight this last year. Actually, it’s done so much more than taken off the weight. I’ve learned a lot of valuable things about myself in the process as well as gotten my female hormones balanced out.

I learned, for instance, I CAN live for nine weeks without a brownie. It is physically possible, folks. I wouldn’t have bet money on that before. I’ve also figured out I have a few food sensitivities and that’s make maintenance a lot easier. Yellow dye in cheese will make me puff up with three pounds of water and cream – for reasons known only to the diet gods – will all but negate my losses for the day. Coconut flour is a big no-no.

When I first realized I was painted in, I retraced the steps of how I got here. First, (at 240lbs) Fibromyalgia set me on to Atkins where eliminating all sugar and starch had my symptoms under control in a matter of weeks. Yay! Oh, and I lost some weight, too. Thirty pounds. Then I sort of hit the wall with that. I’ve since learned that extended ultra-low carb can make your thyroid tank and stop weight loss.

My bad.

From there I read information about HCG and researched that for six weeks. Read Dr. Simeon’s Pounds and Inches. Read Robin Woodall’s work. Read the blogs of a hundred people that had done it and lived. At 215 lbs I gave it a go. Holy Moly was this stuff good. Mentally harder than a triathlon, but good. Energy was good, looked good, felt good (would have knocked over a nun for a brownie, but hey. It’s all part of the experience.)

I had two successful short rounds back to back and then took a month-ish break.

Then on to round three. A little harder, but I made it.

A month later, round four (which failed miserably because my head was nowhere near the game and I ended after 9 days.)

Back in the saddle, round five, of which every pound I gained back afterward. First time that happened.

Round six I decided to go the long haul and do six weeks. I survived and maintained.

The beginning of May at 171lbs (and the one year mark) I started round seven. From the first day I felt like something was off. That should have been my first clue but CHARGE! Onward we go. At about day five, all I could think about was cheese, coconut oil and corned beef. When you gaze longingly through the butcher’s window at giant swirls of marbleized fat in cuts of meat, there’s a problem. I craved fat. No sugar, no brownies, even. Just fat. To make mattes worse, my losses were pathetic. Nothing near what I was used to on a round. 

I never got that ‘runners high’ of being in ketosis on day four, instead I got lethargic. My sleep was terrible. I was foggy minded and frankly, rather pissy with the world.

When my son walked in the room my husband was quick to tell him: “Don’t poke the lioness. She’s hungry and can’t hunt.”

I was hungry all the time, something I didn’t experience in other rounds.

Thinking my dose was off, I raised it. Oh sweet relief. I was so glad that it was simply a dose issue that I posted about it on facebook. Mistake. About three hours later the hunger came back with a vengeance. It was beyond ignorable.

For some reason, HCG was no longer working for me. I was not breaking down fat which is why I was craving it.

After doing more research I have concluded that this is completely my fault. I ignored the recommended time off between rounds. Dr. Simeon’s stated a specific amount of time between rounds, each break longer than the last. Now I read this in his book and on every other HCG informative website out there. Did I think it applied to me? Hell no. I was going to get to my goal by my birthday. Period. (Dieting gods are laughing and slapping their knee right about now.)

I need to stay off HCG for at least six months before it will be effective for me again. So, as I stand here watching this lovely paint dry all around me, I have to come up with another plan.

I have found a lot of HCG-ers use JUDDD either after their goal or when they are close or simply to maintain. Maintenance hasn’t been an issue between rounds but I still have forty more to lose and six months’ time to kill, so between using low carb, alternate day calorie cycling and the (insert horror music here) gym, I’m going to have to go it on my own until Thanksgiving.

Of course I’m more stubborn than a mule so I won’t let this time go by without making SOME progress and now that my epic afternoon long pity party is over, (I would have invited you but it wasn’t pretty)  I’ll yell, Charge! And see just how far I can get on my own.

My major lesson? Instructions actually do apply to me. (Most of the time. Wink.)

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Posted on May 18, 2015 and filed under Dear Diary.